8pm UK, BBC3
Official ESC live stream
This is the one the UK can vote in so join Scott Mills and Sara Cox for some more songs and some amazing live interviews.
I’m working tonight, so I look forward to reading this after the event.
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Reality shows with children will have to apply for licenses. I wonder if Cowell’s going to get one? He shouldn’t, IMHO…
Strobe warnings before the show.
The host banter seems even more stilted than usual, if the few years I’ve watched it are anything to go by.
Horses!
SONG 1 – Serbia. The runner-up from 2004 (and the host from 2008!) is having another pop. Zeljko Joksimovic, to be precise. And good luck getting through going first with a ballad, although I suppose there’s jury votes.
That violin melody reminds me of something else. Oh that’s it, it’s the introduction to Coldplay’s “Paradise”, almost identical for five notes I think.
The singing loses something in translation (and in technical problems) but is technically sound, and this is my kind of staging.
I’m still going to be singing Coldplay over the top of this when I get the ESC CD, though.
KEY CHANGE!
SERBIA 7
Completely unoffensive and only gets interesting about halfway through. Quite like the last half, though.
Serbia: 7/10
STROBE WARNINGS for:
SONG 2 – FYR Macedonia. Kaliopi, “Black and White” (or that’s what the title translates to).
Which has a classically-trained female singer chirping on about something or other.
The strobe warning gives away that this is going to turn into symphonic rock, though. I’m absolutely fine with that, but I don’t think she’s particularly good at it. It’s no Nightwish, anyway.
And quite why the singer had to wail quite like that is beyond me.
If I don’t like this, I don’t see how many others can.
FYR MACEDONIA 4.5
FYR Macedonia: Quite liked it, 8/10. I’m not very analytical.
SONG 3 – Netherlands – Joan Franka, “You And Me”.
And it’s an inexplicable co-opting of American Indian culture at the Eurovision Song Contest. Don’t ask.
And whose idea was it to write a melody that makes the singer go through a break in her voice awkwardly several times in each chorus? Oh it was written by her. What were you thinking?
The Dutch just need to send the winner of The Voice of Holland next year and be done with it. As it is, it’ll be eight years in a row they’ve failed in the semi-finals. And quite deservedly in this instance.
NETHERLANDS 4
Serbia: 5
Macedonia: kinda liked it when it picked up, but I think it’ll just get lost at the front of the pack. 6
Netherlands: apparently she’s from The Voice, which receives a greater share of the viewer audience than Holland’s Got Talent 😉 7
Netherlands: Really don’t like this kind of song, but even so she doesn’t seem very good at it. 2/10
Joan was on The Voice? She wouldn’t have made it out of the blind auditions here.
SONG 4 – Malta – Kurt Calleja, “This Is The Night”.
First Eurodance of the night. First dodgy quiff of the night.
This is appallingly generic. And my first prediction of the night is that Serbia will absolutely cruise to the final.
MALTA 3.5
Malta: Yeaaaaaaaaaaah no,1/10.
The last one should have had a strobe warning. This one does.
SONG 5 – Belarus. Litesound – “We Are The Heroes”
Apparently this was actually second in the national qualifier, accusations of a fix were taken up by no less than the President, and the result was changed.
This sounds quite good after the last two entries. Probably a lot better than it actually is. Not convinced by the singing, but I am rather liking the synth loop.
BELARUS 6
Belarus: I like whatever’s on the screens behind them, and that’s as much as I like about this song. 2/10
Malta: kinda catchy, but not great. 5
Belarus: hearing stronger by Kelly Clarkson over the top. 6
BRILLIANT shout on Belarus. 🙂
Adbreak. Scott and Sara have a VT clip on behalf of the tourism board while other people watch commercials.
A clip of the staff being given roses. How exciting.
SONG 6 – Portugal. Filipa Sousa, title translates to “Life of Mine”.
They’re still trying to win Eurovision 1975. Or possibly trying to not win Eurovision 2012 because they can’t afford to host Eurovision 2013.
Unfortunately for them if that was their goal, they’ve got a good singer, which instantly makes them better than the average tonight.
Key change really, really messily done. Costs it at least half a point.
PORTUGAL 6
Portugal: well they aren’t winning this year. 3
Portugal: I like, doubt very many other do. 7/10
SONG 7 – Ukraine. Can they come up with anything half as good as Dancing Lasha Tumbai? Just beating the arm-wrestling postcard would be a start for Gaitana, “Be My Guest”. Which skirts with needing a warning for blue-and-white flashes straight out of an early-90s game show introduction.
Some right-wing groups in the country kicked up a fuss over the fact a singer of African descent is the representative.
Hello, dubstep-lite synths! And competent generic belting. It’ll qualify with ease, but it’s no Dancing Lasha Tumbai.
UKRAINE 7
Ukraine: ….Urgh. No. Nothing to say about this one besides that. 1/10.
Ukraine: apparently they got rid of the backing vocalists to have dancers instead, which is a shame since it doesn’t sound as good. 5
SONG 8 – Bulgaria.
Singing out of time at the start. This then gives way to the best synth effect in the competition so far.
This should have got a strobe warning. This REALLY should have got a strobe warning. Did it?
Unless the second half’s a drastic improvement on the first this should be a lock to qualify… but that opening…
BULGARIA 6.5
Bulgaria: Boring, bland, pedestrian, any other synonyms of “dull.” 1/10 for doing it in something other than English, and that’s all.
SONG 9 – Slovenia.
Eva Boto – “Verjamem”, translation “I Believe”.
Tick “lacy white dresses” off your Eurovision Trope List.
Adequate female singer over the top of a minimal introduction. SO minimal, in fact, it could be game show think music for a bit.
Oh one of the backing dancers is a backing singer too. Tick “removing a layer of clothing” off your Eurovision Trope List.
Unremarkable.
SLOVENIA 6
Slovenia: Love songs like this when they’ve got orchestral elements. 7.5/10
SONG 10 – Croatia. Nina Bardic, “Nebo”. We’ve not had many English-language entries tonight have we?
We’ve had a fair few ballads though, and here’s another. I think this might be my favourite of them musically, but not convinced by the singing.
As for the backing theatrical dancing, don’t ask. And this skirts with a strobe warning, courtesy of the screens showing a thunderstorm.
Decent.
CROATIA 6.5
Croatia: Unremarkable, but it has orchestral bits including bells. Love bells, automatic bonus points for that. 7.5/10
Bulgaria: funky euro dance. I like. 7
Slovenia: I think I fell asleep. 4
Croatia: 5
SONG 11 – Sweden, the favourites. With strobe warnings on the screen. But not from Scott and Sara.
Wait a minute, we get them now. Loreen – “Euphoria”.
They had a strobe-tastic, pop-tastic entry come close last year. Can they come through this time?
This song feels like I’ve heard it before when I haven’t.
Not entirely convinced by the singing, but I can see why this is talked of as a winner. Like “Popular” last year, I’m going to listen to this quite a bit in the year ahead.
SWEDEN 7.5
Sweden: the favourite, and deservedly so. Amazing. 10
Sweden: It’s better than Popular by virtue of not being it, but still utterly boring and I don’t like dancey-pop stuff, so .5/10
Stu Heritage on the Guardian liveblog reminds me implicitly that it’s “We Found Love” that this is reminding me of.
Adbreak.
SONG 12 – Georgia.
The winner of Chinese Ninja Warrior and his backing burlesque dancers.
Single bright flashes, and flickering patterns on the screen, make this marginal from the flashy POV.
It can’t possibly make the final drawn right after Sweden though, so that’s moot.
Utterly ridiculous.
GEORGIA 4.5
Georgia: Odd song. Bits I like and bits I hate. 5/10
Turkey: Another weird one, but strangely compelling. 6.5/10
SONG 13 – Turkey – Can Bonomo, “Love Me Back”.
Distinctively local instrumentation with a nice beat. Similarly, the singer couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else, and is rather good.
This could win the whole thing. It’s nailed on for the final. Some flickering in the lighting in the bridge to watch out for if you’re photosensitive and are watching that final.
TURKEY 8.5
SONG 14 – Estonia.
Starts as a generically effective not-English ballad. Then it builds up brilliantly (though perhaps the high sustained notes come a bit too soon).
This ABSOLUTELY HAS TO GO THROUGH. Easily the best ballad this year so far. If Sweden get a bad draw and this doesn’t…
ESTONIA 9
Estonia: Nothing to really make it remarkable, but not a tortuous few minutes either. 5/10
SONG 15 – Slovakia, with strobe lighting from the very beginning, and proper rock! The song is called “Don’t Close Your Eyes”, and Scott tells us “do close your eyes if you’re affected by strobes”.
I was just thinking earlier that the night shots of Baku make it look like it would fit very well on a racing game, like the Need For Speed Underground games. Well, this would fit on the soundtrack. Rather well.
SLOVAKIA 7
Slovakia: Don’t normally like this genre without orchestral elements, but this appeals to me quite a bit for some reason 8/10.
SONG 16 – Norway. Tooji, “Stay”.
Well that was easy to type.
That synth patch, again, reminds me of something else. This is a cracking bit of Euro dance-pop – I’d actually go as far as to say this is better than Sweden’s, and it feels like it really, really could win.
NORWAY 8.5
The second half of the show has been by far the best tonight.
Norway: Me no gusta. Manages to somehow be worse than Sweden this year. -2/10.
And I revise my rating on Sweden to -1/10 accordingly.
SONG 17 – Bosnia & Herzegovina. Who’ve never fallen at this stage before.
The piano accompanist from last year’s entry is now accompanying her own singing.
I’m adoring the staging, nothing but blue lights and a mysterious red glow from the screen that turns into what I presume to be a sunrise. and now she’s standing up to sing, which can only mean… yup, she’s going to belt a bit! Actually that’s not fair, she’s much more subtle than that.
Gently enjoyable. Not a patch on Estonia earlier, but it’s yet another song that needs to go through.
BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA 7.5
Bosnia & Herzegovina: I’m not bored to tears, nor am I particularly entranced. 4/10
SONG 18 – Lithuania. Last one of the night, “Love Is Blind” by Donny Montelli.
And it’s another ballad. We’ve had our share of them tonight haven’t we?
A whole lot of dry ice on the set, and the singer is wearing a glittery eyemask. In the form of a scarf.
And this is going to turn into a dance stomper based on this synth patch… YUP! And the walls open up to reveal the set of 1 vs 100. Oh wait, it’s shadowy pole-dancing figures. And, yes, the eyemask went off.
Too many songs much better than this in the last half-hour for this to have even half a chance.
LITHUANIA 5
Lithuania: Started off a bit dull, got a bit disco-y, I quite like that. 7/10
Voted for Estonia. Brilliantly, Graham Norton did a quick voiceover for the phone vote lines. 😀
I have a sinking feeling that no more than one or two of my favorites will be going through. If only I could vote…
Much stronger night overall, but fewer songs that I really, really liked.
Also, Finland should have gone through last night. Not Jedward. I said I’d rant about it all week and I will.
Well, Lithuania are through. I called that one badly wrong.